“I’m so tired.” - Nana, every time I talk with her.
“I am just tired.” - Me, every time my husband asks me what’s a wrong.
“I am tired, I haven’t been sleeping,” - My mother when we chat after a long day with teenagers.
“Gosh, I am so tired.” - My aunt when I ask her how things are going.
This is not a dig on the women in my family, although at first glance it may appear that way. My husband shoots me a dirty look each and every time I claim to be “tired,” because I sound like every woman in my family. I have tried for years to take that phrase out of my vocabulary because I hated the idea of walking around as a tired woman.
Because you know what, we are tired! Heck, I’m exhausted. Watching the Supreme Court nomination play out is exhausting. Embarrassingly, every white straight man that walked by me I felt deserved my best RBF, because seriously. Then I got on Facebook and read all the comments and threw up in my mouth.
What is this America?
Then, the REAL icing on the cake for me, 45 said “It’s a scary time for young men in America.”
Double puke. Must I go on? Because, I am just damn tired writing this post. I should be spending my time writing a business plan and pitching writing ideas about redoing my living room.
We are tired of so many things, one of which is the patriarchy.
We are tired of explaining to men what mansplaining is and when they do it to us.
We are tired of watching the news and seeing that once again, our voices don’t matter.
We are tired of “having it all” by pursuing a career and a family and a really clean kitchen.
We are tired of being the moral compass of our homes, companies, and entire country.
We are tired of always being aware of our safety or lack thereof.
We are tired of having to open men’s eyes to the fact that we’re always thinking about our safety.
We are tired of having to teach our husbands and brothers and fathers about the times we have personally been harrassed.
We are tired of walking with my keys between my hands.
We are tired of watching women of color be ignored.
We are tired of gathering our thoughts, calming our breath and inserting ourselves in the conversation, over and over again.
We are tired of feeling guilty for being tired.
After writing this piece, I found a poem by Cleo Wade and felt it shed a more positive light on my emotions and left me feeling worthy and enough and energized.